the best men don't wed society
by Merisia-Liu
Summary: the boys are in for a revenge. and who is a better target than the elusive Miss Helga G. Pataki?


The Woman Haters  
  
Prologue  
  
Curly, Sid, Stinky and Gerald are sitting in a darkened room. The room had no embellishments except for some picture compilations and a banner that says, "Best Men don't marry!"  
  
Suddenly, Curly stand up and exclaimed, "I can't stand this anymore! Something is ought to be done..."  
  
"Like what: free the animals at the zoo? Come on man, this thing is more complicated than that!" said Gerald, who looks depressed, staring blankly at the window.  
  
"I have an idea! Why don't we call Arnold for help? I mean, he had done a great job lately with..."  
  
Sid is interrupted by Stinky who suddenly went maniacal, "What! I'm doing a great job at her. I know, just give me a few days, I'll prove to you that my charm is starting to grow on her."  
  
They all stared at him as if he had grown another head. Only one thought dominated their mind and that is, "Yeah, right!"  
  
"Give me just a few weeks. I promise she'll get putty in my hands...."  
  
"Like Helga G. Pataki would ever let herself be with you. This is Helga we're talking about! Boys are just toys for her. It's like she's a woman version of...."  
  
"Shut your trap Gerald. There's no reason to panic now," Curly said, looking at the others with an intensifying glare.  
  
"She ruined our game and so, we will ruin her. I know you all want to see her on her knees, begging for someone's love. I know the feeling boys. She is the embodiment of the girl's we want to destroy. And destroy her we will."  
  
"But how?!" , asked Sid, who is now starting to sweat, It is really hot in this room.  
  
"As I've said before, we'll call Arnold. He'll do the rest."  
  
"Are you sure about this man?"  
  
"I'm sure Gerald. He had been ditched by her; why wouldn't he want to take revenge?" Curly said, smiling. This would be very easy now. A perfect match...  
  
In the beginning  
  
The gang is in high school; senior year and they still share the same classes like the last years. It's like they are glued with each other. Nothing much had changed except...  
  
"Phoebe, are we still going out tonight?" a very good looking guy, who is very popular with girls too, is flirting, again with the one and only Phoebe, the Ice queen.  
  
"I told you I'm not interested with you sweetie," she said as she playfully grip at his collar," but, yeah, you could help me to...exercise," she kissed him lightly, then walked away, her hips swaying.  
  
A normal day for Phoebe. She is still petite, still intelligent, but very attractive. She had ditched of her glasses and went for a laser treatment for her eyes. She wears mini skirts and tubes almost everyday. She doesn't look loose anyway. In addition, with that, nothing changed, her best friend is still the Helga G. Pataki but with a new title for herself....  
  
"Helga G. Pataki?" the professor of Mathematics asked, expecting any moment now...  
  
Helga is running away from a mob of admirers and pissed of girlfriends. They sure know how to ruin one's day.  
  
As she is turning left for her first period, someone bumped her and she almost fell butt first on the floor. The guy, whoever he is, held her at her waist and...  
  
"Are you alright Helga?" the guy whispered in her ears. Shit! she thought she is incapable of feeling anything funny just hearing this voice. Oh boy! Was I wrong!  
  
"Helga? Helga!" the boy became impatient and very affected. Since when had I been affected by her?  
  
Green eyes met blue and they locked up at a moment that seemed forever. Then... "Helga, honey, we're here!!!," the guys on the varsity found her!  
  
"As much as I love to be in you company football head, I need to go in my first class NOW!!!!!," she freed herself from Arnold's grip while kissing him in the cheek. Sprinting to ward her followers, she shouted to Arnold," Adios!"  
  
Man, that girl is just unbelievable! A mob of admirers and a mob of err...  
  
"Hey, Arnold! There he is!!!!"  
  
Arnold started to jog, then broke it on a run. Boy, this is going to be a long day....  
  
"Eight, nine....."  
  
"I'm sorry I'm late again Sir Torres!," Helga said, (well, actually breathe out),"you know why"  
  
"Oh, yes, just go on your sit NOW Ms. Pataki. We haven't got all day."  
  
"YES! And THANK YOU for understanding sir!," she said and smiled at him but move her butt to her sit. She doesn't want to fight now. Running really get into her nerves. She loved the idea of being stalked to, like what she did(still do) with Arnoldo....when she was on her sophomore year. But when all of the guys are throwing themselves at her (and Phoebe and Rhonda but hey! They're all in the same league now!), it feels a little bit much. Too much really. It's flattering but, chasing a girl out of her wits(literally!) in the hallway, before the first class, sheesh!  
  
"Miss Pataki, would you answer question number three?"  
  
"Um, it's 3.67 Sir!" He thought I didn't do my assignment eh?!  
  
"Very good!! Now, answer the whole exercise on page 34 at the board..."  
  
"Very well SIR!" Can't anyone trust my brains anymore? I'm not Olga!  
  
Why does a mob of admirers always follows her? Well, imagine Olga with a pink bow (still wears it) used as a headband, and an Olga who wears skimpy clothes without looking whorish and who can actually say something interesting. Yes, that's our Helga G. Pataki. 


End file.
